So here I am at 45 years old and the father of a tweener. It would be easy to just let Noah's transition into manhood go unnoticed and assume that he will pick up what he needs in order to be a successful man, but what exactly will he "pick up?" Who will he be picking it up from? Is it the type of information that I would want him to embrace as he begins to grasp what it means to be a man of God? I decided a long time ago that if my son was to become the kind of man that I hoped he would be, then I needed to first of all define what Biblical manhood is, and then create a plan to follow along the way to create a favorable environment for him to thrive. I had to get intentional.
Since Noah is entering middle school this year I knew that the first thing I wanted him to learn from me, and me alone, is God's plan for him concerning the opposite sex. The school systems do an adequate job teaching the basics about anatomy, but clearly there is no instruction about the moral issues of sex, let alone a Biblical perspective of relating to the opposite sex. I knew I didn't want him to learn the counterfeit of what the world says about sex, so I knew this important discussion had to come from me and be a part of his initiation into manhood.
The conversation I wanted to have with Noah required that we get away for a period of time, just the two of us so we could eliminate the distractions of life and focus on what God had to say about this very important topic. I decided to take him Up North to Mackinaw City where we stayed in a cabin for four days. I wrote four letters that he was to open each morning that set the tone and topic for the day. We would then have a campfire that evening where we would discuss what I wrote to him and I would answer any questions he might have.
The letters that are attached are the one's that I wrote specifically to Noah. The idea was to take him through the basics about what sex is on the first day we were together, but then dig a lot deeper the following days by finding out what the Bible says about his body as the temple of God, how to treat a woman, and most importantly, the plans the enemy has to destroy God's perfect plan for him and his sexuality. Making him wait to open the letters each day built the anticipation of what the next topic would be each day. He also wasn't allowed to ask any questions until we were at the campfire, which also built a sense of intrigue for each days topic. Needless to say, we had a great time. It was a wonderful bonding experience for us as well, since we really got into some deep conversations.
I hope this is a useful model for those of you who are interested to follow. If you use these letters, please blog back and tell me how your experience went with your son or daughter. I pray that this gives you a solid framework to bless your children as you have this critical conversation with them.
God bless!
Mike
Since Noah is entering middle school this year I knew that the first thing I wanted him to learn from me, and me alone, is God's plan for him concerning the opposite sex. The school systems do an adequate job teaching the basics about anatomy, but clearly there is no instruction about the moral issues of sex, let alone a Biblical perspective of relating to the opposite sex. I knew I didn't want him to learn the counterfeit of what the world says about sex, so I knew this important discussion had to come from me and be a part of his initiation into manhood.
The conversation I wanted to have with Noah required that we get away for a period of time, just the two of us so we could eliminate the distractions of life and focus on what God had to say about this very important topic. I decided to take him Up North to Mackinaw City where we stayed in a cabin for four days. I wrote four letters that he was to open each morning that set the tone and topic for the day. We would then have a campfire that evening where we would discuss what I wrote to him and I would answer any questions he might have.
The letters that are attached are the one's that I wrote specifically to Noah. The idea was to take him through the basics about what sex is on the first day we were together, but then dig a lot deeper the following days by finding out what the Bible says about his body as the temple of God, how to treat a woman, and most importantly, the plans the enemy has to destroy God's perfect plan for him and his sexuality. Making him wait to open the letters each day built the anticipation of what the next topic would be each day. He also wasn't allowed to ask any questions until we were at the campfire, which also built a sense of intrigue for each days topic. Needless to say, we had a great time. It was a wonderful bonding experience for us as well, since we really got into some deep conversations.
I hope this is a useful model for those of you who are interested to follow. If you use these letters, please blog back and tell me how your experience went with your son or daughter. I pray that this gives you a solid framework to bless your children as you have this critical conversation with them.
God bless!
Mike
letter_1_-_sex_and_gods_design.doc |
letter_2_-_your_body.doc |
letter_3_-_the_beauty_of_eve.doc |